BE YOURSELF

The freedom of being yourself:

When I was a teenager I always like to imitate other teens, the way they dresses, wearing their make-ups and wearing provokingly clothing. Since I was one of those girls in the sixties where mini skirt and flashy hairstyles and flashy shoes was the highlight of the street, I then blend myself  in the way  young people in the society thinks in those days, doing crazy things. For example I pulled out my strong upper teethes and replaced them with gold teeth a crowns. My parents were so mad with me, but been a teen I did not care. I just was influenced by other suffocated teens whose world turns upside down with beauty and glummer. In doing those things in my mind it was not me really, I was someone else all together because my reason was I wanted to fit in.  I want to be as the rest of my friends who has boyfriends and girl friends. I met this guy at eighteen in London, an immigration officer.  Dark skin, tall and handsome, low hair cut, slender face with a good-looking nose. The day I met him the chemistry in my body moves. I knew then that he was the one for me. Nonetheless, we went to a coffee shop on Queen Street. He ordered two cups of peppermint tea, with two donuts. As we were drinking our teas, I took a brief breath exhaled, looked him in the eyes and give a half smile. He returned the same. With a comment added, “You seem to be a nice lady” I replied, why did you say that? Because I believed I was giving you a compliment.” A compliment, wow, thank you, I said.

I looked at my watch, and say, My Lord it is a little after 7: seven 0’ clocks, I think I have to go. He responded, really I thought we were just getting to know each other. Before you departed, what is your name? Kate! I am Jones.  Pleased to meeting you, same!  I got up looked above my shoulder, smiled at him, narrowed my eyes- It was nice meeting you Jones but I got to run. I have to meet a friend of mind four blocks away from here. He bit on his lower lip, peer at me as I walked in strides, and said, “Meet me at this same spot tomorrow” Ok I will. Truly, I believe I love Jones at first sight but I did not want him to know that, that is why I left.  I had a female group that I hung-out with; they will take away your man in the blink of an eye and whip your butt on top of that. I there not introduce Jones to them because they would grab him like hot a piece of cake.  That day I went home and thought about my life being a follower and not myself. I went to a plum tree near to my parent’s home. I had a good talk with myself as if I was in a counseling session with a small group of people.   The group was an imaginary group in my mind.  I asked them to introduce themselves; there were John, Sarah, Tim, and Lisa. John was Jamaican, Sarah was a Canadian, and Tim was an American and Bidimi was an African.

I choose these people from a different culture because I want to know what it takes to be ones yourself. I say to John, tell me what would you do if you were a follower and suddenly you want to be yourself? What would you do? John responded, “To me I would live my life the way that reflects my own personality and not someone else. If I love to dress up then I would. If I like to drink a little wine and not getting impaired, I would do so because that is what I want to do. Be real.” That sounds good, I agreed with you. Now Sarah, Time and Lisa what is yours opinion of being your selves? They spoke in one voice, “We are from different culture but regardless of whom we are where we from we are people. Each person their own, we believe everyone should be themselves regardless of class. When you reach the point where you have to copy someone because of class, beauty or wealth, you are just heading to destruction, because your entire personality is changing into someone else’s.” Thank you people for participating in this discussion you all truly made me feel good. I now understand that being one’s self is good. Since I became a teenager, I always copying the ways wealthy boys and girls speak and dress. What I intend to do now is to be me. Two days after this little session about self, I met Jones at the same place we met in London, I cut my hair in afro, wear no make-up, dress simple in a tea shirt and a jean pants and my pocket in my hand. When Jones saw me he was astonish, he “ asked, “ are you the same girl I met yesterday” I replied, umm um! “ you look different Kate, more like a lady with a conscious mind.” wow, great compliment Jones, thanks. I just want to be myself. “Well you are doing a good job” Now what you up to? I asked, “  just a wondering boy looking for a nice lady like you” O well, we will see about that when the time is right, now I am only paying  attention to myself and not trying to be somebody else. You know Jones I had a group session yesterday it was very good. “What about, Jones asked, “Being one’s self “that was good following the wrong person, I tell you, and it is very bad. I was a follower in high school, the boy I was following mean and negative in the sense that he turns everyone off by saying one do not have to get an education it is society thinking. Such comment turns me off so I dropped his company and be myself. What I learned Jones said, God has created his people in his own image and he knew before creation what each person will become in this world.”

Being one’s self reflects their personality and not others.  Surviving a dying and bitter world where dogs eat dogs, you must be yourself to fight back. The freedom of being yourself is to love yourself and do things to please yourself and not others.