Love you.
Emotional Abuse
It Hurts When You Love
Emotionally
abusive behavior is anything that intentionally hurts the feelings of
another person. Since almost everyone in intimate relationships does
that at some time or other, emotionally abusive behavior must be
distinguished from an emotionally abusive relationship, which is more
than the sum of emotionally abusive behaviors.
In emotionally abusive relationships, one party systematically controls the other by undermining his or her confidence, worthiness, growth, trust, or emotional stability, or by provoking fear or shame to manipulate or exploit.
It's important to note emotional abuse is about the effects of behavior, not the words used. You can say the most loving words with sarcasm and silently communicate contempt through body language, rolling eyes, sighs, grimaces, tone of voice, disgusted looks, cold shoulders, banging dishes, stonewalling, cold shoulders, etc. There are dozens of ways to be emotionally abusive.
In some respects, emotional abuse is more devastating than physical violence, due the greater likelihood that victims will blame themselves. If someone hits you, it's easier to see that he or she is the problem, but if the abuse is subtle - saying or implying that you're ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, not worth attention, or that no one could love you - you are more likely to think you’re the problem. Emotional abuse seems more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your spirit. It makes love hurt.
If you suspect that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, take the Walking on Eggshells quiz. If your score indicates that you are walking on eggshells, the test will lead you to information on what to do about it.
Although occasional instances of abusive behavior do not constitute an abusive relationship, they certainly raise the risk of ruining health and happiness. Unmitigated by readily available compassion, abusive behaviors lead quickly to chronic resentment and, eventually, to contempt. That's because we tend to form emotional bonds with an expectation that those we love will care about how we feel. When loved ones fail to care that we are hurt, let alone inflict hurt upon us, it feels like betrayal. Failure of compassion in a love relationship feels like abuse.
Merely refraining from abusive behaviors will do nothing to improve a relationship, though it may slow its rate of deterioration. To repair the harm done, there must be a corresponding increase in compassion on the part of the abuser. Abusers do not change by receiving compassion; they change by learning to give it. Emotional abuse does not result from storms of anger; it emerges during droughts of compassion.
Neither anger nor compassion solves problems in love relationships. But compassion puts you in a position where you are more likely to solve the problem to everyone's satisfaction. At the very least, you will never be emotionally abusive with compassion.
Think of times when you have been angry at someone you love and compare those times to when you have felt compassion for those you love. In which emotional state were you more likely to get the most favorable outcome? Which do you prefer? Which feels most deeply like the real you?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201302/emotional-abuse
In addition, Jesus loves us regardless of our sins toward Him. He will never abuse us. I encourages everyone today that are facing abuse in a relationship to leave before its gets worst, it will slow down and start up suddenly when something slight happen because there is no love that tie the relationship together other than material things. When there is no material things, verbal abuse starts. If you love your life you will get out of this mess and renew your mind to something better.
In emotionally abusive relationships, one party systematically controls the other by undermining his or her confidence, worthiness, growth, trust, or emotional stability, or by provoking fear or shame to manipulate or exploit.
It's important to note emotional abuse is about the effects of behavior, not the words used. You can say the most loving words with sarcasm and silently communicate contempt through body language, rolling eyes, sighs, grimaces, tone of voice, disgusted looks, cold shoulders, banging dishes, stonewalling, cold shoulders, etc. There are dozens of ways to be emotionally abusive.
In some respects, emotional abuse is more devastating than physical violence, due the greater likelihood that victims will blame themselves. If someone hits you, it's easier to see that he or she is the problem, but if the abuse is subtle - saying or implying that you're ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, not worth attention, or that no one could love you - you are more likely to think you’re the problem. Emotional abuse seems more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your spirit. It makes love hurt.
If you suspect that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, take the Walking on Eggshells quiz. If your score indicates that you are walking on eggshells, the test will lead you to information on what to do about it.
Although occasional instances of abusive behavior do not constitute an abusive relationship, they certainly raise the risk of ruining health and happiness. Unmitigated by readily available compassion, abusive behaviors lead quickly to chronic resentment and, eventually, to contempt. That's because we tend to form emotional bonds with an expectation that those we love will care about how we feel. When loved ones fail to care that we are hurt, let alone inflict hurt upon us, it feels like betrayal. Failure of compassion in a love relationship feels like abuse.
Merely refraining from abusive behaviors will do nothing to improve a relationship, though it may slow its rate of deterioration. To repair the harm done, there must be a corresponding increase in compassion on the part of the abuser. Abusers do not change by receiving compassion; they change by learning to give it. Emotional abuse does not result from storms of anger; it emerges during droughts of compassion.
Neither anger nor compassion solves problems in love relationships. But compassion puts you in a position where you are more likely to solve the problem to everyone's satisfaction. At the very least, you will never be emotionally abusive with compassion.
Think of times when you have been angry at someone you love and compare those times to when you have felt compassion for those you love. In which emotional state were you more likely to get the most favorable outcome? Which do you prefer? Which feels most deeply like the real you?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201302/emotional-abuse
In addition, Jesus loves us regardless of our sins toward Him. He will never abuse us. I encourages everyone today that are facing abuse in a relationship to leave before its gets worst, it will slow down and start up suddenly when something slight happen because there is no love that tie the relationship together other than material things. When there is no material things, verbal abuse starts. If you love your life you will get out of this mess and renew your mind to something better.
Are You in a Relationship With an Unavailable Person?
Learn the 12 signs of an unavailable person
In my book, The Ecstasy of Surrender
I discuss how a soul mate must be willing and available to have a
relationship with you. If he or she is unavailable this is not your soul
mate at the present time. A confusing part of being attracted to
unavailable, commitment-phobic people is that the emotional or sexual
chemistry can feel so strong. You accept behavior that you’d never
tolerate in friends. Why? The electricity can feel so incredible and rare, you mistake intensity for intimacy. You
make compromises you wouldn’t typically consider in order to give the
relationship a chance. Still, connection or not, you must take a sober
look to determine if someone is truly available for intimacy. Hear this: Not
everyone you feel a connection with, no matter how mind-blowing, is
your soul mate. You can fall for someone who is totally wrong for you,
as unfair and confounding as that reality can be.
For a relationship to work, a soul connection must go both ways. Even if the intuitive bond you feel is authentic, it can remain unrealized. Just because someone might’ve been your soul mate in previous eras, it doesn’t mean he or she is right for you today. Perhaps the person can’t or won’t reciprocate or is simply oblivious, a frustrating irony you must accept. Don’t put your life on hold for unrequited longing. Love that is destined can never be stopped. Meanwhile, keep your options open. How do you avoid getting entangled in dead-end or delusional relationships where you see someone in terms of how you wish them to be, not who they are? To start, here are some red flags to watch for. Even one sign warns you to be careful. The more that are present, the more danger exists
.http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-ecstasy-surrender/201408/are-you-in-relationship-unavailable-person?tr=MostVie
For a relationship to work, a soul connection must go both ways. Even if the intuitive bond you feel is authentic, it can remain unrealized. Just because someone might’ve been your soul mate in previous eras, it doesn’t mean he or she is right for you today. Perhaps the person can’t or won’t reciprocate or is simply oblivious, a frustrating irony you must accept. Don’t put your life on hold for unrequited longing. Love that is destined can never be stopped. Meanwhile, keep your options open. How do you avoid getting entangled in dead-end or delusional relationships where you see someone in terms of how you wish them to be, not who they are? To start, here are some red flags to watch for. Even one sign warns you to be careful. The more that are present, the more danger exists
.http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-ecstasy-surrender/201408/are-you-in-relationship-unavailable-person?tr=MostVie
God bless you, love yourself.
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