MODERN ROMANCE
Modern romance sent off signal that is very cloudy
sometimes. In romantic love, there should be permanent attachment with each
other. Because of the physiologically arousal that accompany sexual arousal,
many people mistake sexual attraction for love. Especially because we are
sexually active minded and always ready for actions. It is important that one
should be able to know the difference between a one- night stand, and real
love. In modern romance most people believes that sex is love. This is where they
are misled and later fall into danger. Where a boy meets girl and many hearts gets
broken in pieces.
Note that I am not one of those who do not believe in love.
I am one who concern of people using sex as love. Where love is presence a
person feels happy. Love is a great experience when both party are ready and
determine to stay together. I should say
that love is a wonderful experience and goods gives gifts. May I take you to
what Paul the Apostle has to say about love in 1 Corinthians 13 read as
follows:
13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of
angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling
cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all
mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could
remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and
though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me
nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not
easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things,
endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they
shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be
knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is
in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a
child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish
things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to
face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the
greatest of these is charity.
When Paul wrote these words, he knew
that love should be taken seriously, and not slightly. Being a Marriage Counselor, I had seen so many
tears and so many questions, asking, “Why did he say that he loves me when he
didn’t? All these years he was with me now he left me for another woman” It is
pitiful when sex attraction creates as a union and in few days or years it
disappears in thin air. When you get caught up in a relationship, it comes to a
conclusion where you put your trust into each other not knowing that that same
relationship is heading to a disaster. Nonetheless, sincere love is
sweet-romantic love and Adrenaline: The
two-Component Theory. Love brings great
pleasure according to Christina Rosetti Wrote:
my heart is like a singing bird,
whose nest is in a watered shoot. My heart is like a apple-tree whose boughs are bent with thick-set-fruits; my
heart is like a rainbow shell that paddles in
halcyon sea; my heart is gladder than all these; because my love is come
to me. Love is great in every relationship that has strong communications. It
very difficult to be romantic without communications, love can be rough
sometimes as the Roman poet Catullus complained in the first century BC
“I hate and I love, you ask how that
can be, yet I do not know, I feel it and I am torment” Thinking of romantic
love the contradiction nature of it is confused lovers (and those who theorize
about love) sometime I myself ask if love is pleasure or pain. Is sex painful
or sweet? Is it passionate or sorrow. I
recall when in college, the scientific explanation of romantic love was given a
boost by Stanley Schechter’s two- component of human emotions. According to his
theory, for person to experience emotions, two factors must be present: (1) “physiological
arousal, and (2) an appropriate emotional explanation for the arousal. By
recognizing the love it accompanied by physiological arousal.”
I would like you to read about five
kinds of love, how they function in your life according to other people’s
perspective. Read as follows:
(1)
Epithumia: Is of Greek origin and is a love
based on a strong desire of many sorts. Many times it is associated with lust
or sometimes to covet. While epithumia love can draw couples closer together it
can also be divisive as it can lead to an uncontrollable desire to have or to
own. We often hear on this forum from people who desperately try and draw a
spouse back after they have become detached from the marriage. The efforts can
be overwhelming to the retreating spouse as epithumia love can be seen as
controlling. Epithumia love can also nurture strong bonds in a couple if they
both experience it especially in a sexual context. To mutually desire each
other sexually and to engross themselves in love making that is driven both by
desire and selflessness in pleasing each other. Epithumia love is a double
edged and is most likely manifested in a
positive manner in the early stages of a relationship.
(2)
Eros: This the love most associated with romance. It is that
head-over-heals feeling we get when a relationship moves forward. Your world
and mind circles about your loved one and they are always on your mind. You
strive for time together romantically. It is manifested in poetry, words of
affirmation, love making, that special look in the eyes.…. A feeling that you
could not be happy in life without their companionship and love. Eros love is
wholly emotional and cannot be summoned at will. Sadly while most of us have
experience eros love in our lives it is not sustainable. Most experts estimate
that it will only last 18 – 24 months in the best of relationship before the
relationship moves on to another form of love. While eros love is not
sustainable, it can cycle in and out of a relationship over its course.
(3)
Phileo: This love cherishes and has tender
affection for the beloved but it expects a response. It is a love of
relationship, comradeship, sharing, communication and friendship. While eros
makes lovers phileo makes a close companionship that is all trusting. They
share each other’s thoughts, feelings, attitudes, plans and dreams. They
confide in each other the most intimate secrets, fears and needs that they
would not share with another. A marriage without phileo will be unsatisfactory
no matter the passion in the bedroom.
(4)
Agape: Many have heard me speak of agape
love in several posts over the last year. Agape love is of particular
significance to marriages in troubled waters, especially if one partner has
disconnected. To love agapely is to love your spouse completely, love them
wholly, but expect nothing in return from them at the current time. Agape love
is different from eros love in that it is not sexual, nor romantic in nature.
Its nature is that of self sacrifice but is not unconditional. You can love
your spouse completely and still have boundaries and maintain your self
respect. Agape love is also different from the other kinds of love in that you
can choose it. You can elect to love your spouse this way because it is what is
best for your family and marriage. It is a giving of yourself for the
betterment of the marriage. Agape love can help you to “protect” yourself
emotionally during difficult times as you love your spouse but expect nothing
in return. Many I talk to have difficulty in trying to apply this type of love
but if the marriage is in trouble and the detached spouse still cares for you
but is in danger of leaving agape love can do wonders both for you and the
marriage.
(5)
Storge: (Also Greek) Storge love is often
described as a comfortable old shoe relationship comprised of natural affection
and a sense of belonging to each other. Storge love represents a safe haven for
couples as it is a place of acceptance, mutual respect and shelter. Many couple
dwell in storge love for years and misunderstand it as mundane or boring. But
in effect it is a very safe place but can simply lack that spark we seek. It
can also serve as the moat around your marriage protecting it from outside
forces and allow the other types of loves to dwell and flourish. Storge love
can co-exist with other types of love and can be likened to a foundation made
up of trust and safety.
These loves can come and go in a marriage.
I would venture to say I have experienced them all in my 28+-year marriage.
They can also intertwine with each other to form a stronger bond. By
understanding, the kinds of love that can exist might help in determining where
you are in your relationship and where you might want to be. I hope that this
will give some insight into how they might get there. As much as Paul the Apostle
stressed on love, sometime love do fail. In the five-love mentioned, ask
yourself what is your style of love? Find it in those above, or explains…e…
You love him you hate him. It’s the nature of
romantic love. I know how much I love my husband, but sometimes when he closes
the communication’s channel, he turns me off. However , the love is there, I
try to get the candle of love burning with him even though he turns of
communicating with me. I dressed up like the first day I met him and walks around
the house. In a few minutes I get him back to where we started. As Paul the
apostle says, “ love is kind, it does not puff up and fade away easily.
You love him you hate him. It’s the nature of romantic love.
I know how much I love my husband, but sometimes when he closes the
communication’s channel, he turns me off. However , the love is there, I try to
get the candle of love burning with him even though he turns of communicating
with me. I dressed up like the first day I met him and walks around the house.
In a few minutes I get him back to where we started. As Paul the apostle says,
“ love is kind, it does not puff up and
I LOVE YOU
LOVE YOU
ROMANTIC LOVE IS BITTER AND SWEET, LAUGHTER AND PARADISES OF TEARS….
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